I really like Robin Hood. Or rather, I really love one specific version of Robin Hood, the Disney version with the animal characters. It was one of the endlessly rewatched movies of my childhood. But despite this, I’ve never reached out to try other versions of this story, either in print or on screen. I think I’ve seen Robin Hood: Men In Tights, which I don’t remember well, but in hindsight was probably a spoof of the movie I’m about to watch…
Prince of Thieves was not what I was expecting. I thought I was going to be watching a serious retelling of Robin Hood, something slightly more realistic than the cartoon of my childhood. What I got was witchcraft, satanism, implausible gunpowder and swords that are only sharp when the script says something gets cut. That said, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, it just threw me a few plot curveballs I wasn’t really ready for. If you’re looking for a well-grounded Robin Hood movie, this isn’t it.
- Friar Tuck
- Quarterstaff fights. Quarterstaves are grossly underrepresented in movies, despite being ridiculously effective weapons.
- The Merry Men in general. I was expecting regular bandits. Luckily, this isn’t that movie.
- Surprise Sean Connery!
- Robin gets back to England four months after his father is killed, and his castle is in ruins. Why? The Sheriff didn’t have any need to attack it, and nothing that big and made of stone falls down in 4 months on its own. And if the Sheriff did do it, then who ruins a perfectly good castle? Seriously.
- I know this was shot in 1991, but Morgan Freeman as The Wise Savage trope made me uncomfortable on many levels. This was not helped by the fact that all the other Middle Eastern characters (who also may or may not have been ethnically appropriate casting) at the start were gross caricatures.
- Speaking of the start of the movie, I found following what was happening Really Hard to Follow. I mostly figured out that sequence by inference later on.
- In the climactic scene, the witch seems to be able to get in and out of the chapel at will, all while the only door is barred. This happens like 3 times. Is she actually magic? It’s implied that she is a charlatan who was just a good spy, but then this shit happens.
- No matter how ridiculous, (attempted) rape scenes make me really unhappy.